Valentine's Day Haiku
Genre: Video HaikuRules: Create a Valentine's Day themed VIDEO HAIKU! A video haiku is a 3 shot film. 1st shot is 5 sec, next shot is 7 sec, final shot is 5 seconds. SEE EXAMPLES HERE: http://bit.ly/s34Fmc
Justin's Reviews for "To the Death!"
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Justin has left 16 reviews this fight, have you added yours yet?
Justin has left 16 reviews this fight, have you added yours yet?
I like the pacing of this a lot. Great music in the background, love the intro titles as well. Giving us a good sense of suspense. The shooting style in the woods - to make us feel like he's surrounded worked well. A lot of times people will shoot like that for no reason. Good to have it feel like it's from an actual 'source.'
My main quibble with this is that your lighting and color correction is a bit all over the place. Guessing the sun was going down? I'm also hearing some camera handling noise.
I don't like the shot at the end, where it's very much a POV thing, with the guy looking down and the body and looking up - but there's no character source of that ... it makes it seem rather weird - like someone was left standing right there, and invisible person. Would have been better to shoot that different, or remove the shot altogether.
Your camera's exposure is also jumping around - remember, "Auto" mode is never your friend! Always lock down your exposure.
Anyway, thought this was a great flick - love the audio work here and some GREAT shots and pacing.
Overall I give it a B+
First off - we were having some technical issues with your group name (the weird "n") so we lost your thumbnail. If you want to send it to me I can update your video.
LOVE THE LIGHTING IN THIS!!!!! Really great look. That camera looks great - I've heard of it before. I take it that the music is coming from a source in the room?
Careful with that knife! I am not liable if someone actually ends up dead, haha.
The jump kick is freaking awesome, love that. LOVE the last shot too. With there was more context here- even just a VO at the start, something to make us care just a little bit about these two guys and feel invested in who wins and who loses. That's the main thing missing here. I know it's not easy on a tight time restriction but it's not impossible.
I also think you could have shaved off that extra 7 seconds, but your file was very good so I let it slide. Glad you took the time to cut it down as close as you did.
Overall I give this film a B - GREAT WORK!
oh and the dolly in shot on the door was RAD - need to use more dolly shots when you can!
Love the audio change on the FF intro, ha. Summon minion.
GREAT EFFING LOCATION!!! That really makes this shine. Audio isn't great. Your color correction is all over the place. Love the fast moving 'twilight' kind of blur effect. Great shot with the growling dog man thing. I am so super into this 'continuing story arc thing you guys are doing - it's one of the coolest things I've seen done on the site EVER. So smart.
Don't like the delivery of the line "You can't escape death."
"To be continued" graphic goes to ofast in the corner.
What made this a HW for me was the location, but far. I like your costuming and extra work adding in the bloog a lot as well. Many good touches on here, but felt that the audio and color correction needed a lot of work. I wish there wwere more cool shot of the location - exterior stuff - seems like you had some fun playing around with it, but could have gone a lot deeper with it.
Overall I give this film a B-
First off - your film was stretched oddly when you submitted it - feel free to send it in again if you want your video to look higher quality. I had to fix it myself manually.
Okay, on to the film! So, they're battling like in their minds? Or they're actually in this dark room? I found that somewhat confusing. I get the idea that the world "darkens" around them as they get into this intense battle. Wish that last shot was a wide cut of the dude with his shirt off but they were back in the normal office setting - so it was a 'snap back to reality' kind of thing - would have had more of an emotional funny punch to it as well. Weird that they actually GO to some room to hvae this silly fight, haha.
Love the slapping, very silly. Great actors, great look - that really made this one for me. Solid lighting too. Just think the ending could have been tweaked a bit! You guys are REALLY GOOD! Super pumped to see ya on the site! Stick around, let me know what you think we could do better, as a first-timer.
Overall I give this film a B+
Haha, the first lines make me laugh. "Hey you! Whoa!" --- did you guys intentionally make this really awkward and weird? It's got some charm to it for sure! Sound effects are very cheesy. Wish there was a satisfying 'thunk' or something at the end if the skinny dude gets killed. Seems like it's missing that punch at the end.
Very fun watch - not a heavyweight, but a very fun lightweight. I give this film a C rating
ya it was meaning to be really wierd and awkward.
Your film is squished! Was this rendered out at 640x360? "Widescreen" DV doesn't work when encoded. Still need to fix that.
Slapping is awesome. Love the sliding sound effect. Audio needs some work - him laughing should continue on in the background - Dustin, your physical comedy is wonderful in this - both you guys do a good job. Ending is silly fun! "DAnnksss!" - You guys have weird ways of making drinks. HAha, the montage at the end is probably my favorite part of this.
Enjoyable watch, since Dustin is such a ham :D I wish you had a sound effect at the start of someone yelling "MORTAL SLAPFACE" - a la MORTAL KOMBAT. Woulda really sold it for me. Anyway, not a HW entry, but fun to watch for sure!
I rate this film a C+
EMMEREK! Always a treat. I like that you added in some story. The shot 0:19 is GREAT. I don't like the shot that follows as much, with the sun shining into your lens - makes the camera look worse since the lens flare looks odd.
Good sound effects on this. Good music, good pacing. Lots of things done right! The "fake jib" shot at 00:33 is very cool. If you're on Final Cut, try the "Smoothcam" filter on shots like that - it'll make them look like they're actually on a crane!
That road looks familiar! Is that the same raod you're always shooting at? haha
If we're watching from the character who's trying to escapes POV, I would have liked to see more shots of the chaser in the background as Johnny runs away. Really drive him that he's leaving him in the dust - we want to stick with one character to look through the eyes of, if possible. That pitchfork looks nasty! LOVE the kick at 00:52.
You guys did some inventive things with the fence - always thinking about using your surrounding for this sort of scene, you guys did a great job.
Didn't see this one as a HW, but was still a great watch. It's been so fun seeing you guys get so much better! Think you did an excellent job with this.
I rate this film a C+
Cool film! I was on the fence about putting this one in the HWs. When I looked over all the entries, I just fel this one wasn't quite there. You had some weird single frames showing up that should have been edited out. Your fight scene moved rather slow - for things like this, it's always a good idea to speed up the ACTION portion of a kick or a punch. Even just a couple frames. Make a huge diff and even slow punches begin to look BRUTAL.
You have a couple scenes that look very dark after color correction in this.
LOVE the idea, love the costumes, audio isn't terrible. A cute ending. Lots of thigns going right in this, but the awkward and non-convincing punches and kicks kept this one out of the HWs. GREAT entry though, and look forward to seeing more! Let me know what we can do better here at FF if you have opinions as a first timer.
I rate this film a B-
Welcome, first timer!!! Great to have you in the fight! Sorry about the tech issues.
Okay, lots of room to improve here - looks like maybe you're shooting this on a digital camera? I'd suggest using a tripod as much as possible to help keep it from looking too weird.
Great pistol prop. Music is very rocking. Line deliverys aren't very good. Why is this called "painted orange"? Because you're using fake guns that are all painted orange for safety?
I love that there are just random explosions going off in the background, haha.
The close up of the gun at 00:40 is a COOL shot. Dig it!! I think the sequence from 00:40 to 00:45 is quite good. Great pace - lots of good shots, nice little sequence there.
If you show a "FPS" style shot for one of the gun men, why not do it for his counter part as well. Always good to mirror things to show a comparaon between the two.
Using wider shots is good to establish where the characters are in relation ot each other, I really lose track around the 1 min mark.
Shot at 1:07 is also very good! I'm seeing glimpses of some very nice camera work here - now you just gotta borrow something a bit nicer to shoot on if possible!
The guy gets away at the end? Totally confusing ending.
I give this film a D+ ... needed a lot of work, but you have some good shooting chops and I'm pumped to see how your skills evolve!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sbl2xf8XhA
Here's Part 1, maybe watching this will make some things clearer. You can stay tuned for a sequel or two, we have an ending in mind, we just haven't gotten around to it yet.
I think you video came in squished. Why is this guy double checking the cocaine? Why would he just be sitting there staring out? He doesn't look too scared. I LOVE the music in this - you guys did a GREAT job of building tension with the music, and how you shot it - love that we see the snipers POV and it feels like our main char is in peril. I considered HWing this but ended up just thinking it wasn't quite there - would have HWed just because you guys did a great job with setting up the tension - ending could use some work for sure, though.
Overall I give this film a B-
Yeah i was wondering why this came up in 4:3 when i shot and exported it in HD 16:9. The whole thing with him standing there was that he was dropping off the cocaine and gets ambushed.
First off, love your camera. LOVE that you sped up those kicks and had some decent sound effects. Why no glass shattering effect when the head gets bashed in at the start? Snow seems like a pretty terrible way to stun someone, ha. Gun shot sound effects are TERRIBLE - very tinny with very little oomph. Is he hitting something? Where is that sound effect?
Both the actors kind of look like they're laughing as they fight - this should be effing INTENSE! TO THE DEATH!
Think you shooting is pretty good, editing is very nice, just could have got the actors to bring a little more life to the performance - also seemed like it was missing a lot of audio design work, just not enough time to fnish it up? You guys have a lot of stuff going right for you on this one, what fight are you going to submit to next? Excited to see some killer stuff in the future!
Overall I give this video a C+
[Disclaimer: I'm kinda tired and rambly, so this comment ended up pretty long.]
Thanks for the critique, Justin!
I'm going to try and address all of your points, explain the things I did correctly, how to avoid my mistakes, etc. and hopefully people will read this and find it useful. (It's like 3am, so this may actually be a dumb idea, I guess we'll find out.)
Firstly, I love my camera too. I really think shooting with a DSLR opens up alot of possibilities that were closed to lower budget film makers until recently.
All the speed ramping was done in After Effects with Time Remapping. I think it really adds a brutal edge to the fight, and can help sell a hit if it happened to be a little off at regular speed. I also added a little camera shake during some of the impacts. Also also, all of the bullet holes and the cracked window were added in AE, and every time an actor walked in front of them they had to be rotoscoped out, etc. I loves me some After Effects.
Ah, the sound design. I am a little bummed this was lightweighted in large part due to the sound design quality, because I actually spent the most time on it out of the whole process.
The Nikon D90's mic is kind of terrible and I didn't have anyone willing to be boom operator in the cold, so I scrapped all the audio and did the whole soundtrack from scratch.
I should mention I color graded and did effects in AE, but I did all the editing and sound design in Premiere.
All the punches and kicks were foley, I just recorded myself punching my palm really close to the mic (in Audacity), then I added some bass for a little more 'oomph'. Everything else was from Freesound.org, and it was pretty hit and miss. Mostly miss.
The face to window love scene is a good example. It was either a huge cartoony glass shatter, or a subtle glass crackle. I went with subtle (thinking the glass doesn't actually shatter per se, it just cracks) But the forehead impact sound swallowed it up. I could have searched more, but I felt like I was spending way more time on the sound design than I wanted to.
The gun shots were a similar case, it was a ton of automatic rifle fire sounds to wade through so I grabbed the first pistol sound and dropped it in there. The bullet hits however were pure neglect on my part. Or if you're kind, imagine he has terrible, storm trooper style aim.
What I'm learning from this is that sound design takes a lot of work, but it's essential to crafting an experience that draws your viewers in. If it's done right it's unnoticeable, but if there's something wrong people will pick up on it and it will take them right out of the film.
I started with the subtle noises; wind, the fountain in the background, and lovingly placing every snowy footstep. Then I tried to do the bigger sounds right after and I was burnt out, so once I got every sound I could think of in place I called it quits. What I should have done is taken a day off and come back to it when I could be more objective.
As for the acting, it was me and my brother so I wasn't ever behind camera. I really should have reviewed my footage after each take. I just said "Hey, it's cold, let's do 8 quick takes of everything then move on", and when I got it into Premiere I noticed we were grinning in almost every take. I did think I took that side mirror to the face like a pro though!
I really want to do an animation for the next minifight, but if that doesn't work out I'll still try and get a live action submission done in time for "Bad Trip."
All the effects were tremendous in this - I thought maybe you had like "gunshot" stickers you put on your truck -it looked DAMN convincing!
Welcome to film fights, JP films!
eems like you guys had a good time making this - your fighting style is very awkward, ha. I like the close ups - the actual fighting is very unconvincing. The stab at the end is a good effect, but the dude is totally smiling! Come on, he just got murdered! He should be freaking out. That blood is very watery that's coming out of him - was he full of delicious capri sun?
To shoot something like this smoothy, you need to be aware of the 180 rule. For instance, at 00:19 - if he's punching the cop from the right of the screen to the left, we should keep that orientation when we cut to a wide, but you flip it so he's finishing his punch going from left to right. Makes things more confusing to follow. Keep that consistent! The stab through the arm should have been done in a farther away shot, or a much tighter shot - very easy to spot it's fake (unless that was your intention?)
Like I said, I dig the closeups a lot, just needed your actors to be more convincing. Some good DIY special effects in this
I give this film a D+ -- sorry if I seem harsh, just trying to keep it real! You can always let me know if you think I'm being a wackadoo ;)
D+ We passed!!!
Thank you for all of the input. we appreciate it.
Hell's Cinema! Welcome to film fights! You have a very intense film group name! I like teh colors and composition of this first shot. Why are those lines on his hand? Watch the focus on your lips close up. I like that you're setting up the shots in this way - close ups look great. Why cut away from the music when they're pushing the jam back and forth? Hah, I love that you just run outside to fight for no reason.
Can't we all just get along and share the jam?? I would have added some more shots showing how the jam was almost gone - seems like there's still plenty of it left in the jar for both of them. Maybe a last scrape of the kife trying to get up the last bits?
Some good shots at the end, Chariots of Fire music is funny, hah. Gun out of no where! I think we need to see a wider shot at the end when he gets shot - I'm not sure where any of it is coming from.
Thanks for the entry! Hopefully this advice was helpful! Holler at me if you have any questions about anything!
The lines were an 11, and the other kid had an 8, maybe their ages?
Hey dudes! I was writing a long review but then I moved to another page and yeah it was all lost. DAMN.
Anyway, I like this a lot. GREAT camera movement - feels perfect for the subject matter. I like that you brought in some other weaponary. I also love that you added in people grunting n' shit when they are getting beat up. That's something a lot of other groups forgot.
You should check your iris on your camera - it should never be in 'auto' mode - always manual! Keeps things from getting weird when you swing around.
Lots of creative shots here, you guys are gonna end up in the HWs soon, I can sense it!!!!!
I give this film a B-
Thanks Justin! The grunting was actually all recorded on set.
"Bright Side of The Force"
by Piggs Productions
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Bright Side of The Forc
by Piggs Productions
Lightsabers have a whole new purpose...
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