Spit TakeGenre: Comedy
Rules: One of your characters must at some point do a spit take. A spit take is the act of suddenly spitting out liquid one is drinking in response to something funny or surprising.
I think the quality is very good! It has a very cinematic quality, which I don't think lends itself well to the format though (70's TV show.)
Also, you might want to speak a bit clearer next time, I understood what you were saying, but it came out as rushed!
The last thing is just a personal note: I thought the humor was a little too blatant. Less can be more! Try to make it a bit more subtle, and maybe it will play better. But that's just me.
Overall, a solid contender! I'm glad you submitted, and can't wait to see more! I hope to see you around!
It seemed a little too "improv" for my tastes...
The crying you mixed in after the girl gets hit stands out a bit, I could tell it was fake. Sound is the most important thing!
The cinematography needs a bit of work in my opinion. It wasn't bad, but it was a little bland.
Overall, it's just little things that need fixing up! Thanks a lot for submitting! I hope to see more from you!
|The Phantom Monk||16|
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