Gas Station HaikuGenre: Video Haiku
Rules: Make a haiku that takes place at a gas station! A video haiku is a 3 shot film. 1st shot is 5 sec, next is 7 sec, last 5 sec. Examples: http://bit.ly/s34Fmc
I was actually really worried about the last shot. I think it may be the reason we made Middleweight this time around. I think it ended up that way because of the original placement of the actors in the first two shots. It would have been jarring for the viewer to have them suddenly be closer together and further away from their original mark. Like you said though, the lighting was what made it hard. I wanted it to be consistent but I didn't realize how bright the window was until I was editing the footage. Oh well. Now we know for next time.
The tone is great and I love the shots. I have to agree with Justin though, I was kinda hoping for some voice over or something to help spice it up a bit. However, the addition of the hot girl in the video made it a little easier to swallow.
Now comes the part that I'm a little confused on. Call me crazy, and maybe I'm just not seeing it right, but I could have swore there were actually 4 shots in this video. Before anyone jumps me about this, let me explain: there's the opening shot of him sitting on the couch and getting a txt message which then pans up into the second shot which is the hot girl fantasy, then, without panning we get a flash cut to him sitting on the same couch in front of the same window smiling about his fantasy which then match cuts to him sitting on a different couch and frowning later at night. Again, I could very well be wrong about this and if I am I apologize in advance, but it does seem like 4 distinctly different shots rather than 3.
If it weren't for that I would give it an "A+". Otherwise I gotta give it an "A-". It's a good movie. Great movie in fact, but I'm just not sure about the whole shot thing.
Hey thanks for the review. You are right in that there are technically four shots, but in terms of the third and fourth shots, we matched them up so they would essentially be 'the same shot', and both add up to the time limit required.
You could say it's bending the rules a bit, I guess, but we felt it was needed to sell the gag. Originally it was going to cut from the girl in the fantasy to her crying on the settee, but that seemed to sudden and the real humour would come from his reaction.
Hope this explains a bit of the thought process behind it. Thanks for the 'A-' rating!
I actually let out a hardy chuckle at the end of this one which isn't something I normally do. Kudos for making chuckle in a hardy fashion.
I loved the monochrome and the way you made the decorations stick out. Great editing there. The shots seemed a little stale though. Not much. Just enough for me to notice. Thankfully it wasn't distracting.
A zoom or dolly out on the last shot definitely could have added some flavor to the overall tone of the piece but I still got the humor even without it. All together I think this was a good, solid effort and is well deserving of an "A+". Good job and keep em coming.
Thanks! If I can get people to laugh its worth it all. Agree with more movement. Promise more in the next fight.
I've come to the conclusion that it is the addition of the credits that hurt some of the videos as it extends the run time past the 17 second mark. Other than that I thought this was a pretty solid take on the haiku. The gun looked a little on the fake side, but it all made sense to me. "A-"
I gotta agree with HorribleHorror, the joke kinda fizzles at the end. I get what you were going for and I actually did think the "cham-pag-en" line was kinda funny. "C-"
I can see how getting a secret valentine from someone and then finding out it was actually your mother would be annoying. I would be disappointed to get one too. I liked this haiku. The shots weren't anything spectacular (but then again, neither were mine). All in all I give this one a solid "A".
I really liked this one. It was simple yet easy to understand. I think my only real gripe would have to be the sound... er... or lack of sound. It was just too quiet for me. I felt like I needed someone talking or some kind of music playing in the background.
Normally I would probably have given this one an "A-" but since you had a kick ass Army of Darkness poster in the background I'll bump it up to a solid "A" :)
This is a really dark haiku... and I like it! The second shot seemed like it was kinda choppy though, as if you spliced together various takes of the same shot. I don't know, maybe it's just my eyes playing tricks on me.
I thought the tiny bow was funny and I wasn't expecting the gun to pop up so you definitely pulled off the element of surprise. All together I give this one a solid "A".
I loved this!! I laughed my *ahem* ass off when I saw the ending. I noticed the pants -- or lack thereof -- right away. Seriously, this should be a Heavyweight. Then again, I didn't look at the timing so maybe that's why you got bumped down. Don't know.
I gotta tell ya, if it weren't for the fact that we're competing for the same weight class I would totally vote for this. However, I will happily and with great pleasure slap a good ol' "A+" on this one. Hell I'll even give it a "Resident Evil Finish" "S Class" rank.
I was wondering why this wasn't a HW too
haha thanks man. Although i have to say I dont know what "s class" rank is. I played resident a bit but if I remember right I stopped cause it was too scary for me.
Sorry about that, Ghastly. I just wasn't sure what to think of it. It is funny though and you're right; without it the shot just wouldn't have worked. I got no problem with it, I just wanted to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing. As long as everyone else is cool with it I'll gladly bump it up to an "A+". Again, great film. :)
No need to apologise at all. Just got a keen eye for detail! Thanks again!
by Noreaster Films
by Noreaster Films
Revenge is a dish best served cold.4,391 views6 reviews21 votes