This isn't a BAD entry ... but it suffers from a lot of editing problems. Like, the intro, showing this dude putting on his belt, tying his shoes - maybe if there were credits during that sequence, and some music it'd be acceptable, but as it stands now it's very much like "Ok, I get the point, he's getting ready for work ..." feels like a waste of time. Same with the guy walking to get the door - you're WALKING the audience through everything step by step, when you don't have to do that. People know he's going to walk to the door and answer it, they don't want to watch the whole thing happen.

This could have been cut down to about a 1 or 2 minute movie and it would have been HW most likely.

Another huge pet peeve of mine, is bloopers. Half this movie is bloopers, and there's almost no transition between the END of the film and the start of the bloopers. Unfortunately no one cares about bloopers except the people who make it themselves. It's a fine thing to make as an 'extra' on your site, but including it in the video itself is just ... kind of dull. So please, if you're going to add them in, only one or two, not basically raw footage.

sorry...i cheated and read justins review (in the forum) and i usually dont like to do that. but, yeah, it was a good idea, just would have been better if you got to the punchline a little faster. i would have made the tying of the shoes and the teeth brushing real quick cuts and trimmed a little in the middle. i do like outtakes, but more for like a separate little thing that you could link in the forums. the acting was good and i thought it was funny. the lighting was a little dim, but tollerable. you guys got a good thing going here. i really did enjoy the movie. just try to make it more \"quick flick\" friendly, and i have no doubt you\'ll make HW next time..rock on!

Not too bad. Many flaws though. Examples: when the guy goes to the door he obviously looks at the camera and hits record to cut it. When the \'pop up\' comes up his hand is on the mouse. etc etc

The first thing I thought about when I started watching this was -- where is this going? The opening shots of the guy putting on clothes need to be shorter -- as a tip, think about -- does this pull the story forward or drag it down? Do that with *every single shot*. If you don\'t need it, CUT IT. Don\'t be afraid to do multiple takes until you get the dialogue exactly like you want it. I got to see the previous version before you took out the bloopers, and I can tell a great difference in some of the stuff you guys redid. Keep doing it until you are 100% confortable it\'s right. Don\'t hold back with your dialogue -- say it like you mean it. Don\'t stop until it sounds natural to you. Other than that, if you were competing against your other films that you have made -- if I was using a scale of 1 - 10 (10 is the best), I\'d say you were probably at a 3 or 4 previously. I think this entry bumps you up to 5 in my book. Keep on trucking and keep on getting better. You\'ve got the talent.. just keep working at it!

Hey guys:
I hope this is what you would call constuctive criticism. I love your scene changes with the clock \"wipe\"?. The rest of the movies was long drwn out (even for a short) and quite frankly the story line was not developed all added together made for a movie that was boring. sorry guys. You dropped the ball on this one but I know you have better stuff coming.
CARA
actor Schizo Studios and Five Clover films

we get it, he\'s getting dressed. half the movie is him getting dressed. This is SO slow. WHAT is happening? WOW this was totally pointless. My brain is sad.

I already posted my suggestions in the filmfights forum. Keep on filmfighting and submitting entries!