It seemed like you guys had a lot of fun, and that is great, but there is so much potential here that I feel like you guys aren't taping.
Firstly, work on a more natural delivery, it sounded like you were reading off cue cards a few times, just say it a whole bunch and work on saying it like you're just talking.
Besides that, you could have used more location and angle variety. The "security cam" static angle has been overused for a century, and almost never makes for an interesting shot, especially when done for the majority of the film. Some more close-ups, and cutting back and forth would have really helped the film.
Other than that, the plot feels rushed, and meaningless. None of the characters have film motivations, and the film doesn't seem to have a purpose. Watch some more classic cinema, and study story arcs, and work on getting a conventional story done.
Once you understand all of the rules, it becomes easier to break them and make it work. Starting out making disjointed attempts at surrealism will contribute to it feeling loose and amateurish.
Master conventional storytelling before branching into more surrealist fair, because here it feels slapped together illogically, rather than an intentional attempt at surrealism.
Keep at it, you guys seem to enjoy doing this a lot, and with a little work you could make something great.
I don't think they thought for a second about making a surrealist film Wes, looks like they were just bored.
(Which by the way is no bad reason to make a movie, keep at it guys!)
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